Sura 55:13 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny
As a Mk-Ultra survivor I often contemplate or question if an action of mine is due too having injuries resulting from the treatments of an governmental experimentation object or if my behavioral action are projections of who I am innately. This may be an contradiction in terms but without having an expert in the behavioral to consult, I am at a considerable disadvantage.
Currently, I am living with my daughter and her two children ages six and thirteen> Last weekend they went away for a weekend trip. While they were gone, I took the quiet time and completely cleaned several rooms of the house the kitchen being one of focus. Daily cleaning does not address the cleaning of the refrigerator, mopping the floor, arranging the spices in the rack and other chores not address daily. When my daughter and her children returned Monday evening I had already retired for the day. When I got up on Tuesday morning I went into the kitchen to make my morning coffee, finding on my arrival dishes with unfinished food on plates left on the kitchen table and counters. Dished in the sink where there were none the night before and other items of disarray.
Recently, I have been having problems with high blood pressure. My daughter had to take me to an emergency service facility just a week or so ago so she is very well aware of my health concerns yet the common courtesy of making sure the kitchen remained in the state in which it was found was not adhered.
Too often, I let such action go unvoiced by me. I know in doing this I do both my daughter and myself a great injustice. The little of the behavior I remember of myself prior to unnecessary electric shock treatments and other unknow medical horrors, I did not allow myself to be trampled upon. I think I respect and value who I am but that fact could be proven by my behavior where acceptance of rude and cruel behaviors of others is concerned. I attempted to address my suppressed memories and other issues of MK-Ultra injuries with a medical person. I hesitate to say medical professional as that fact was unseen by me. What I encountered rather than a knowledgeable compassionate professional was an arrogant, presumptuous individual whose piece of paper otherwise call a diploma made his too quick to make diagnosis acceptable. I was informed by this pharmaceutical employee that if I would not go on medication that he would not accept me as a patient. How horrifying is the double exploitation. How unbelievably cruel.
