Monday, 22 February 2010


Empty volatile fools they be, dancing outside of destiny.
By Maryam Ruhullah

In the first posting I created in this blog, I revealed the fact that I am a survivor of a United States Government secret human experimentation program called, "Mk-ultra." This experimentation program was developed during the Cold War to devise enhanced behavioral modification techniques which could be used to interrogate suspected Soviets spies. This experimentation project which sounds more like a episode from a James Bond movie than a actuality based in fact, used many unwitting individuals as subjects. Void of informed consent, volunteers of MK-Ultra participate through a cloak of deceptions, wherein, becoming victims in one of the most horrendous crimes against humanity perpetrated in the twentieth century.

Informed consent is a critical criteria when requesting individuals participation in research program. Some of the essential components of consent form are as follows:

1. Name of research project
2. The purpose of Program
3. What the specific requirements are for the subject
4. A physician eligibility patient form
5. The subject must understand the risk involved in participation.

When any of the above elements are misrepresented to the volunteer, that can constitutes lack of informed consent.

It is not the intention of this blog to involved its followers in the technical facets of Mk-Ultra. This blog will not exclusively be dedicated to citizenry education regarding Mk-Ultra nor toward the building of awareness. The primary purpose of this blog is to convey the human side of survivorship.

Now, a little about myself and my truly incredulous situation, and how, I went from being an intelligent, mentally and physically healthy wife and mother, a functioning contributor to my family, myself, employer, community and faith group; to becoming for a while in life, a zombie like vegetable.

As a child, I was forcefully taken away from my biological family and moved to a different country, a different culture, a different social status and economic status. I was literally physically transplanted and subconsciously supplanted.

I was approximately five years of age, definitely no more than six, when a total disruption of my known life was ripped from me, as traumatically as a seamstress ripping a section of cloth from its stable bolt. De-rooted from the rich soil of two loving parents, as a child, I had to face created emptiness.

I don't want to innuendo the readers of this blog with too many weighty emotions in one posting. Still, what I feel essential to state currently, is that as a child, I made a personal promise to myself too one day locate my biological parents and heritage. That childhood promised has translated into an impenetrable sense of determination.


Maryam Ruhullah

May the Blessing of God locate,
May His Love flow through you,
And may His Mercies be your goal.


  1. salam,
    Did you located your biological parents?
    I hope inshaAllah you did

  2. ajnabi, thank you for your concern. No, I did not locate my biological family but inshaAllah, I will one day have my life and rights returned, Pray for me my friend.